Can we talk about shame and body image for a bit? 

I was having a chat the other day about how self worth, bodies and food are all intrinsically linked, particularly for women. We feel bad if we go back for seconds, we feel sloppy if we havn't done exercise all week, we feel unworthy of the effort it takes to prepare a fresh wholesome meal, we cringe and feel disgusted about ourselves when we try on a too tight top in the change rooms. I'm getting uncomfortable thinking about all the words we say to ourselves on a daily basis that relates to guilt and humiliation around ourselves and our bodies. I see it often in my clients; talking about all these things provokes further shame for being so hard on themselves. We, women, have evolved to want to compare and compete, strive to be noticed, look like we've got it together, feel like we have it together. Shame is like that. Feeling that in order to be loved and accepted we need to perfect and have our life together. That we will be successful only when we've overcome our insecurities, we will be loveable only when we can fit into a certain size, we will make more friends only when we are more funny, pretty and popular. 

I believe these intense feelings and unrealistic expectations stem largely from our society that presents women as flawless, smart, beautiful, toned, sleek, refreshed, educated, busy, I could go on and on. We begin to compare ourselves to this standard and see where we fall short and start trying to change those areas we don't feel we match up - our body shape, our teeth, our hair, our home, even our sense of humour! 

The thing is most of us know that a lot of these things can't be changed. We most likely will always carry with us our natural trait that we have been given since birth. What we don't know is that these changes we strive to make do not equal that expected outcome. A woman who wants to be able to wear a sleek dress and go out and order what she wants and enjoy a good time with friends is not going to get that from spending hours at the gym and restricting what she is eating. She is going to get that social experience from taking care in choosing clothing that makes her feel good and comfortable, from having enough energy to have good conversations, from knowing she can choose to eat the most satisfying food. Therefore instead of altering and avoiding there is acceptance. Accepting where you are now, your limitations, your strengths, accepting your imperfections and not letting those stop you from embracing life fully. Here are three ways to help you do that. 

Become aware of your body and accept it right now

Because body image is all about perceiving your body against an ideal we need to start perceiving our body as it is. Right now. Take a little inventory of your body and write some facts down. Be your bodies own archeologist. Start slow and simple if this exercise is too daunting. For example brown eyes, short, pale skin to things like enjoys bike riding, functions best with 9 hours sleep. This way you are acknowledging your body for what it is and what it likes rather than what you think it should be. Get into the habit of knowing your body more each day. For example,  before you exercise, ask yourself what would feel best. Before you eat something, ask yourself if thats what you truly feel like. Each person is so different because we are. Start to embrace those things that make you you. 

Get rid of all social media that is triggering negative body image

Body image is largely shaped by what we view, therefore it makes a lot of sense to not see anything that is going to spiral into feeling bad about your body. Try to reduce how much time you spend on social media or do way with it all together for a few weeks. Make a note of the difference you feel. From there you can determine what you want to let in, considering the influence it has. Alternatively follow accounts that embrace body diversity and send out positive messages. 

Take care of yourself and give yourself what you need

A lot of us feel guilty or selfish for putting ourselves first and this leads to further shaming thoughts. The thing is, we are worthy to have our needs met. In fact, it is essential to look after ourselves. Many of my clients are constantly looking after others and put off the things they truly would like to do. In many cases this leads to basic needs such as making time to prepare a meal or go for a walk being put on the back burner. Make a list of things that make you feel good and start to include a few of them every day. My 'feel good' list includes a walk on the beach, reading a good book, fresh flowers, painting my nails, having a morning off to do whatever I like, exploring new places, coffee with a friend. It doesn't have to be implicated. Once again, take note of differences you feel once you start doing more of what you enjoy. 

By moving more fully into who we are, we are in the best possible place to cultivate happiness and make changes towards whole body health. We are not defenceless against body shame. We can become equipped to love ourselves and live courageously as imperfect yet beautiful women. If you would like to learn more about body image and body acceptance please get in touch. I'd love to hear from you. 

Hey there! Today I'm going to share what groceries I bought this week. It's something that interests me in general (gotta love that its part of the job) and so thought someone else out there may be interested too. 

 I try to do one main shop and then usually end up doing a smaller shop to get some extras or things we run out of. My stores of choice: Harris Farm, Coles or the Farmers market. As I'm not the most routine person I just go with wherever I feel like on the day. If it's a sunny Sunday and we don't have anything planned I love going for a stroll through Gosford Farmers markets and getting fresh produce (and a coffee and some flowers!), most often though its a run through Harris and Coles. I love Harris Farm Market for its in season, cheap, good quality produce and getting some more specialty items like stuffed olives and good cheese. Coles is mainly for everything else and is simply convenient because it's next door to Harris. 

Hope you enjoy having a sneak peak! 

What did I buy this week?

Vegetables: zucchini, sweet potato, pumpkin, potatoes, baby spinach, lettuce, cherry tomatoes, corn, carrots, avocado, frozen veg with cheese sauce 

I basically buy whatever vegetables are in season and cheap. Harris has 'imperfect picks' which I love as they are 1/3 of the cost and taste just the same. I think it is also important to be aware of food waste and do our part to support minimising this such as eating produce that would otherwise be thrown out because of blemishes or a funny shape.  

Fruit: peaches, bananas, rockmelon, grapes

I usually stick to portable fruits that can easily be packed and eaten - grapes are a fave at the moment! Often I'll buy frozen berries to keep in the freezer for smoothies or muffins. 

Dairy: Greek yoghurt, flavoured yoghurt

I didn't buy much dairy this week - we had a bottle of milk (full cream) in the fridge and are loaded with cheese for weeks. Yoghurt though is a must. I go through the tub of greek yoghurt weekly. 

Breads/cereals: Lebanese wraps

This week was also low on this front - I have't been buying bread lately as it just goes mouldy before we can get through a couple of slices. I have spelt sourdough in the freezer which keeps me going and Matt is loving wraps for lunch. We have plenty of staples like pasta, rice and oats, although in the winter months we go through these much slower. 

Meat: Pork sausages, shaved turkey, tuna

This is pretty normal. I don't really eat a lot of meat and try to have vegetarian/seafood meals a few times a week. Mostly because I don't have much of an appetite for red meat and I just think there's more interesting things to eat than chicken breast!   I usually keep some sort of fish in the freezer for a super quick dinner. 

Happy foods: Ice-cream, bavarian, muesli bars, twisties

Of course, there has to be room for these type of foods! I like having some sort of creamy dessert on hand because cravings often call for it! Same goes with something salty :)

What are 3 simple meals I make?

Seafood Marina 

Simply simmer a can of tomatoes with herbs, capers and some white wine in a frypan while a pot of water is boiling. After simmering for 15 mins throw in 500g seafood marina and continue simmering for 10 mins. Meanwhile, cook pasta in salted boiling water until tender then drain and toss through marinara sauce. Done! 

Honey mustard veg + meat

Chop up a whole lot of veg - sweet potato, potato, pumpkin, zucchini - drizzle with olive oil, 1 TBS wholegrain mustard, 1 TBS honey and salt and pepper. Spread out on roasting pan and bake for an hour at 180degrees. Serve with whatever fish, chicken or beef you like. My fave: salmon fried in butter with lemon. 

 Eggs shashuka 

Heat some oil in a frypan and fry some chopped bacon or chorizo. Add a can of chopped tomatoes, herbs, a pinch of chilli flakes and baby spinach. Simmer for 15 mins until thickened. Make four holes in pan and crack an egg in each. Continue heating on a medium heat until eggs are almost set. Serve with crusty bread and salad. 

When I tell people I'm a dietitian they naturally assume I'm going to be the food police and tell them what they're eating is bad and what they should be doing instead. But... I actually don't care that much about what you eat. I care about why you eat and how you eat. I care about your thoughts around food, how you see yourself in the mirror and if you are well nourished inside and out. Weight loss is not the answer. The medical world claims it is the answer to the problems that they see but in reality weight loss diets is one of the most harmful things we can do and has one of the least success rates of current prescribed medical interventions. Instead, I practise the non diet approach, which is evidence based and the most helpful way dietitians can help their clients.  

I believe in body positivity

One of the worst effects of dieting is that it goes hand in hand with the desire to lose weight or change your body in some way. It is saying to yourself, 'I'm not enough' or 'I need to change this in order to be that'. Think about how often those thoughts pop up. I still get those thoughts frequently regardless of the effort I put in trying to fight against them. They are strong, pervasive and damaging. We live in a society that prizes one body type, which is mostly unattainable and is unrealistic. We think that we can't be beautiful if we do not look like the women portrayed in the media. Can I just stop there for a minute and say this is wrong and I'm sorry because not one of us is immune to this. But we each possess our own individual unique beauty. And how wonderful this is! Short legs, muscly arms, lean torso, large chest, rounded hips, narrow shoulders, long face.

We all have a beauty of our own. We need to start embracing this in ourselves and others. Whenever we act on the thoughts that we need to change we are automatically starting the diet cycle leading to deprivation and then ultimately beinging or overeating. One of the best things we can do to prevent this is being ok with our bodies right now. This will take time and some good support but nothing will change for the better until you start appreciating your body for what it is and at the same time know that bodies are not the most important thing in this life!  I love the way Taryn Brumfitt of 'Embrace' documentary puts it: 'my body is not an ornament, its a vehicle to my dreams.'

I believe food is for enjoyment, not a tool to manipulate our body

Food is a wonderful thing. What else is delicious, built into the days schedule and required for life?! The fact that our social lives are intertwined with food tells us that it is not just fuel but an integral part of community and our psychological health. We have some our best moments over a lovely meal and have fond memories from just a smell of our grandmothers cooking. All these parts of food is what makes it good and what makes dieting almost impossible. Dieting dictates everything about what and how we eat leaving very little enjoyable experience - and don't count your 90% dark chocolate treat scheduled in at 9pm every night because clean eating rules say thats allowed.

No, we need free choice with what to eat at every meal because we are guaranteed to want variety. This is normal and good. Our brains naturally seek out different textures and tastes. A study showed that women who ate over 16 different foods reduced their risk of dying from any cause by 42 percent when compared to women who ate less than 9 different foods. It is also known that populations such as the Japanese and Greek have long lifespans and have a common feature of eating a wide variety of foods. All this is to say, enjoying a range of foods is very beneficial and there is no need to cut out food groups or forgo traditional staples such as wine, cheese and bread. 

I believe we can get more out of life when we're not consumed by food/body thoughts

Those of us that restrict/deprive ourselves have way more food thoughts than those who don't. Why is there such a link between the mind and our eating? Its a survival mechanism. When we are not getting enough food or even just knowing that our favourite foods are off limits can trigger the brain to seek out food at every opportunity, which is why dieters are thinking about dinner before they even have breakfast. Do we really want our thoughts constantly going towards this?

Or could we take up a new hobby, invest in our relationships, enjoy choosing whatever food sounds good for now without worrying about it. Dieting is all about worrying about food! It makes us weigh food out, count calories, meal plan like we're crazy, keep little baggies of chopped raw veg that we never feel like eating, get on the scales, obsess about the number on the scale, look at menus of restaurant days in advance to find the most diet friendly option. This is all exhausting, soul sucking and joy less! And at the end of the day this mental and physical energy is not going towards anything worthwhile. Just to let you know: your appearance and what you ate today are not the most interesting parts about you. 

I believe we can be our healthiest selves when we can eat all foods without guilt

When we are just as much enjoying a slice of cake as we are a bowl of fruit salad and we are not thinking of the nutrition content, that is normal eating. It is choosing what you eat based on how hungry you are, what feels good now and what will satisfy you. In this way, we are likely to choose a whole range of foods and take in all the nutrients we need because we can trust that our body wants to maintain a comfortable weight. There is nothing more healthy than going out to eat and choosing the thing that sounds most delicious on the menu and enjoying it with company. Saying no to a social invitation because of food is one of the detrimental effects of dieting and only leaves us feeling miserable and reaching for ice-cream. 

Healthy does not need to be in a box defined by a label (paleo, no sugar, low fat, raw etc). In fact this type of restriction is not healthy at all. Perfection has no place for 'normal' eaters. They are able to think about a meal as being one of many in the week so that no single food matters much by itself. Overeating and underrating happen and thats just part of life. So is eating foods simply for the taste of it even if you're not hungry.  Not caring too much about what we eat so that we can go after life is very very healthy indeed. 

I believe we are able to regulate our appetite and maintain our weight quite effortlessly  

Thinking we have to lose weight and going on a diet puts a lot of trust on external influences (the clock, food rules, meal plan, calorie target) and very little trust on internal influences (hunger, fullness, satisfaction, moods, cravings). Many of my clients after having dieted for a long while really struggle to know what hunger and fullness feel like. Yet we are born with these signals to direct how much food our body needs. And listening to them and responding makes a whole lot of sense when our aim is to feel healthy and eat what is right for us.

From the 'Endocrine Review' Journal: the complexities of the neurochemical regulation of food intake are not surprising when one considers the varied inputs involved in the determination of feeding behavior. With depletion of an organism's energy stores, a series of signals arise which force the animal to hunt for food.' When we start messing with lowering our food intake, we will eventually seek out food any way we can, and ultimately overeat. On the other hand, when our food intake is appetite driven our weight settles where it wants to be. And we can't easily trick our bodies! A simple way we can get back to eating based on internal influences is asking ourself, how hungry am I? before eating and 'what food do I feel like?'. We can trust that our bodies will tell us what is too much by signalling fullness. Eating to our appetite eliminates the need to obsess over food, weight and shape and gives you the freedom to enjoy all kinds of foods.  

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